Ikliphu Yevidiyo
Ingoma
Mom, I know I let you down
– Mama, ndiyazi ukuba ndiyakushiya
And though you say the days are happy
– Kwaye nangona uthi iintsuku zonwabile
Why is the power off and I’m fucked up?
– Kutheni i-power power off and i-fucked up?
And, Mom, I know he’s not around
– Mama, ndiyazi ukuba akukho ndawo
But don’t you place the blame on me
– Kodwa ungandibek ‘ ityala
As you pour yourself another drink, yeah
– If you’re drinking, yeah, yeah, yeah
I guess we are who we are
– Ndicinga ukuba singobani
Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
– Mafikizolo-thandolwethu mafikizolo
Maybe we took this too far
– Mhlawumbi sikude kakhulu
I went in headfirst, never thinkin’ about who what I said hurt
– Ndaya entloko, andizange ndicinge ukuba ngubani na into endiyithethayo buhlungu
In what verse, my mom probably got it the worst
– Yeyiphi ivesi, umama mhlawumbi wayifumana eyona imbi
The brunt of it, but as stubborn as we are, did I take it too far?
– Kodwa ke, njengoko sinjalo, ndothuka kakhulu?
“Cleanin’ Out My Closet” and all them other songs
– “Coca I-Closet Yam” kwaye zonke ezinye iingoma
But regardless, I don’t hate you ‘cause, Ma
– I hate you, babe, babe, babe
You’re still beautiful to me, ‘cause you’re my mom
– Uyandithanda, kuba ungumama wam
Though far be it from you to be calm
– Nangona kukude kuwe ukuba uzole
Our house was Vietnam, Desert Storm
– Indlu yethu Yayivietnam, Isaqhwithi Sentlango
And both of us put together could form an atomic bomb
– Kwaye sobabini sidibene singenza ibhombu yeathom
Equivalent to chemical warfare
– Ilingana nemfazwe yamachiza
And forever we could drag this on and on
– Kwaye ngonaphakade sinokukurhuqa oku kwaye siqhubeke
But agree to disagree, that gift for me
– Kodwa vuma ukungavumelani, eso sipho kum
Up under the Christmas tree don’t mean shit to me
– Phantsi komthi Wekrismesi musa ukundibetha
You’re kickin’ me out? It’s fifteen degrees
– Ngaba undigxotha? I-15 degrees
And it’s Christmas Eve, “Little prick, just leave!”
– Kwaye Ikrismesi Yi-Eva, “Bye bye, go away!”
Ma, let me grab my fucking coat!
– Mama, ndikhulule ibhatyi yam!
Anything to have each other’s goats
– Yonke into yokuba iibhokhwe zomnye nomnye
Why we always at each other’s throats?
– Kutheni sisoloko sithandana?
Especially when Dad, he fucked us both
– Ngakumbi Xa Utata, wasibetha sobabini
We’re in the same fuckin’ boat
– Nathi mankayi-ndim lo feat
You’d think that’d make us close (Nope)
– Ucinga ukuba oko kuya kusenza sisondele (Nope)
Further away it drove us, but together, headlights shine
– Ukuqhubela phambili kwasiqhubela phambili, kodwa kunye, izibane zentloko zikhanya
And a car full of belongings, still got a ways to go
– Kwaye imoto egcwele izinto, isenendlela yokuhamba
Back to grandma’s house, it’s straight up the road
– Home iindaba umakhulu usendleleni
And I was the man of the house, the oldest
– Kwaye ndiyindoda yendlu, endala
So my shoulders carried the weight of the load
– Ngoko umthwalo wam wawuthwala emagxeni am
Then Nate got taken away by the state at eight-years-old
– Emva koko Unate wathatyathwa ngurhulumente eneminyaka esibhozo ubudala
And that’s when I realized you were sick
– Kulapho ndaqonda ukuba uyagula
And it wasn’t fixable or changeable
– Kwaye ayilungiswanga okanye itshintshwe
And to this day we remain estranged, and I hate it though, but—
– Kwaye kude kube namhla sihlala kude, kwaye ndiyayithiya, kodwa—
I guess we are who we are
– Ndicinga ukuba singobani
Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
– Mafikizolo-thandolwethu mafikizolo
Maybe we took this too far
– Mhlawumbi sikude kakhulu
‘Cause to this day we remain estranged and I hate it though
– Kuba unanamhla simkile, kwaye ndiyayithiya
‘Cause you ain’t even get to witness your grandbabies grow
– Kuba awuziboni izinyanya zakho zikhula
But I’m sorry, Mama, for “Cleanin’ Out My Closet”
– Xolisa Kwinana-Sithi Bayede ft.
At the time I was angry, rightfully? Maybe so
– Ngelo xesha ndandithukuthele, akunjalo? Mhlawumbi kunjalo
Never meant that far to take it, though
– Noko ke, akuzange kuthethwe ukuba kude kuyithabathe
‘Cause now I know it’s not your fault, and I’m not makin’ jokes
– Kuba ngoku ndiyazi ukuba ayilotyala lakho, kwaye andizenzi iziqhulo
That song I no longer play at shows
– Loo ngoma andisayidlali kwimiboniso
And I cringe every time it’s on the radio
– Kwaye ndiyakhala ngalo lonke ixesha kunomathotholo
And I think of Nathan being placed in a home
– Kwaye ndicinga Ukuba Unatan ubekwe ekhaya
And all the medicine you fed us and
– Kwaye onke amayeza owasondlayo kwaye
How I just wanted you to taste your own
– Indlela endifuna ukuba ungcamle eyakho
But now the medication’s takin’ over
– Ngoku iyeza liyeza
And your mental state’s deterioratin’ slow
– Kwaye imeko yakho yengqondo iya isiba mandundu’
And I’m way too old to cry, this shit is painful, though
– I’m way too old to crying, kodwa le ntlungu ibuhlungu
But, Ma, I forgive you, so does Nathan, yo
– Kodwa, Ma, ndiyakuxolela, unatan, mna
All you did, all you said, you did your best to raise us both
– Konke enikwenzayo, konke enikutshoyo, nenza konke okusemandleni enu ukusiphakamisa sobabini
Foster care, that cross you bear, few may be as heavy as yours
– Inkathalo, leyo umnqamlezo oyithweleyo, zimbalwa izinto ezinokuba nzima njengezakho
But I love you, Debbie Mathers
– Ndiyakuthanda, Debbie Mathers
Oh, what a tangled web we have ‘cause
– Whatever webhosting sino msolo-ndikhetha lowa
One thing I never asked was
– Inye into endingazange ndiyicele
Where the fuck my deadbeat dad was
– Where my dad daddy daddy daddy daddy was
Fuck it, I guess he had trouble keepin’ up with every address
– Ndikholelwe, wayenenkathazo gcina zonke iidilesi
But I’da flipped every mattress, every rock and desert cactus
– Kodwa ndajika yonke imatrasi, yonke iliwa kunye nentlango cactus
Owned a collection of maps
– Compile maps
And followed my kids to the edge of the atlas
– Kwaye walandela abantwana bam ukuya emaphethelweni eatlas
If someone ever moved ’em from me
– Ukuba umntu ukhe wafuduka kum
That you coulda bet your asses
– Ukuba unokubheja iimazi zakho
If I had to come down the chimney, dressed as Santa, kidnap ’em
– Ukuba bekufuneka ndihlise i-chimney, ndinxibe Isanta, ndibaqweqwedise
And although one has only met their grandma once
– Kwaye nangona omnye wadibana nomakhulu wakhe kube kanye
You pulled up in our drive one night
– Utsale kwidrive yethu ngobunye ubusuku
As we were leavin’ to get some hamburgers
– Njengoko sasihamba ukuze sifumane iihambhega
Me, her and Nate, we introduced you, hugged you
– Mna, yena Kunye No-Nate, sikuzisile, sikugona
And as you left, I had this overwhelming sadness
– Njengoko wawusele umkile, ndandisentlungwini engathethekiyo
Come over me as we pulled off to go our separate paths and
– Yiza phezu kwam njengoko sitsala ukuya kwiindlela zethu ezahlukeneyo kwaye
I saw your headlights as I looked back
– Ndabona izibane zakho njengoko ndikhangele emva
And I’m mad I didn’t get the chance to
– Insane am not batshit insane
Thank you for being my mom and my dad
– Enkosi ngokuba ngumama notata
So, Mom, please accept this as a
– Mama, nceda uyamkele le nto
Tribute; I wrote this on the jet, I guess I had to
– Imbeko; ndibhale oku kwijethi, ndicinga ukuba kufuneka
Get this off my chest, I hope I get the chance to
– Ndikhuphe esifubeni sam, ndiyathemba ukuba ndingalifumana ithuba
Lay it ‘fore I’m dead, the stewardess said to fasten
– Lay it ‘ for before i’m dead, eli gosa lathi liqinile
My seatbelt, I guess we’re crashin’
– “I think we’re batshit insane”
So, if I’m not dreamin’, I hope you get this message that
– If i’m not, i’m dreaming, ndiyathemba ukuba ufumana lo myalezo
I will always love you from afar, ‘cause you’re my mom
– Ndiya kuhlala ndikuthanda, uvela kude, ngokuba ungumama wam
I guess we are who we are
– Ndicinga ukuba singobani
Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
– Mafikizolo-thandolwethu mafikizolo
Maybe we took this too far
– Mhlawumbi sikude kakhulu
I want a new life (Start over)
– Ndifuna ubomi obutsha(Qala phezu)
One without a cause (Clean slate)
– Unboxing (Unboxing)
So I’m coming home tonight (Yeah)
– I’m home tonight (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)
Well, no matter what the cost
– Kungakhathaliseki ukuba kubiza malini
And if the plane goes down
– Kwaye ukuba inqwelomoya iyehla
Or if the crew can’t wake me up
– Okanye ukuba abasebenzi abanakundivusa
Well, just know that I’m alright
– Just know i’m okay, okay, okay, okay
I was not afraid to die
– Ndandingenaso isizathu sokwesaba kula mabini amakhwenkwe, kodwa mna
Oh, even if there’s songs to sing
– Yoo hoo songs
Well, my children will carry me
– Abantwana bam bandithwele
Just know that I’m alright
– Just know i’m okay, okay, okay, okay
I was not afraid to die
– Ndandingenaso isizathu sokwesaba kula mabini amakhwenkwe, kodwa mna
Because I put my faith in my little girls
– Ngenxa yokuba ndibeka ukholo lwam kwiintombi zam
So I’ll never say goodbye cruel world
– So i’ll never say goodbye ukulele cruel world
Just know that I’m alright
– Just know i’m okay, okay, okay, okay
I am not afraid to die
– Andoyiki kufa
I guess we are who we are
– Ndicinga ukuba singobani
Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
– Mafikizolo-thandolwethu mafikizolo
Maybe we took this too far
– Mhlawumbi sikude kakhulu
I want a new life
– Ndifuna ubomi obutsha
[Produced by Emile Haynie & Jeff Bhasker]
– [Produced By Emile Haynie & amp ;Jeff Bhasker]
